Coping with Loneliness

Written by Oluwatomi Rowland Monday, 15 August 2011 22:47

Coping with loneliness Loneliness is a state of mind rather than a measure of how many people you interact with. You can be overwhelmed with a feeling of loneliness in a bustling restaurant or a cheering football stadium, in a business meeting or a family gathering, even while having sex. You can feel contented, complete, and at peace with the world deep in a forest far from the nearest human. So what causes feelings of loneliness and how can you overcome them?

Jonathan Huie, a motivational speaker and writer, Loneliness is really a form of neediness, the feeling of needing some expression of companionship and support that you don't feel you are getting. You feel lonely when the state of your world doesn't appear to be as it should. We are most likely to feel lonely when we have lost a companionship that we previously had a loved one died, left us, or moved away; our family, social group; or employer has rejected us. We feel the contrast between how thing are now and how they used to be better.

The other cause of loneliness is comparison with the apparently happy social networks of others seeing others appearing to enjoy their connections with family, friends and lovers, we long for those same pleasures.

Here are ten tips for coping with feelings of loneliness.

Focus on the present Whenever you find yourself longing for the past, stop. Bring your attention back to the present. Rather look to the great opportunities for your life today and tomorrow.
Be yourself and be proud of yourself Be happy and proud that you are exactly who you are.
Learn to enjoy spending time completely alone. Once you can be comfortable alone, you will defeat your compulsive need for companionship. Take long silent walks in the woods or on the seashore.
Know the purpose of your life, and keep busy with activities that support your purpose. When you know that your life is directed toward an important purpose, the support and encouragement of others lessens in significance. It is much harder to feel lonely when you are actively engaged with tasks that further your vision for your life.
Be of service to others- Volunteering your time to those less fortunate has a number of benefits. You will feel good about yourself. You will realize that you really are one of the more fortunate people in the world. The bonus is that service organizations attract the kind of people who have the potential of becoming great friends.
Find a furry four-legged friend A dog.
Join groups for the activities, and let the socializing be a bonus. Take lessons. Learn to dance, sing, play a musical instrument.
Be physically active Walk, join the gym or dance group. The endorphins that exercise generates make you happier, and it's hard to feel lonely when you're happy.
Turn on happy music Find the kind of music that makes you feel happy and turn up the volume. Dance to your music, sing to your music, let your music reverberate within you.
It is never easy when a marriage or other significant relationship ends. Whatever the reason for the split-and whether or not you wanted it the breakup of a long term, committed relationship can turn your whole world upside down and trigger all sorts of painful and unsettling feelings.
A breakup brings uncertainty about the future. What will life be like without your partner? Will you find someone else? Will you end up alone?
Recognize that it is ok to have different feelings. It is normal to feel sad, angry, exhausted, frustrated and confused and these feelings can be intense. Accept that reactions like these will lessen over time.
Give yourself a break. Give yourself permission to feel and function at a less than optimal level for a period of time. You may not be able to be quite as productive on the job or care for others in exactly the way you are accustomed to for a little while.
Don't go through this alone. Sharing your feelings with friends and family can help you get through this period. Consider joining a support group where you can talk to others in similar situations. Isolating yourself can raise your stress levels, reduce your concentration, and get in the way of your work, relationships and overall health. Don't be afraid to get outside help if you need it.